The Book of Eli

One thing that is common with common day films that contain a strong Christian theme is that, when they get into the 'Christianness', it tends to get really quite cheesy. I, myself, am a Christian, but even I can see that they often put forward their beliefs without consideration for those who might want to see a bit of justification for the said beliefs (generally atheists). Probably the main reason that this irritates people is that it is always the same cliched things that are being said, rather than anything new. The writers also tend to write the Christian aspect into the script with little or no consideration as to how it might fit into the overall movie, or making sure it stays out of the way of (or, if possible, strengthen) the story.

'The Book of Eli' is a film with a strong Christian message, and seemingly told from a Christian perspective. This aspect actually blends in nicely with the story. There are certainly a few moments where it comes across as cheesy, but compared to what you'll usually see, the film is not likely to induce a cringe with these aspects.

"So," begins an interested listener, "You say it is a good film?"

No, you ignorant twerp. The film was ultimately very disappointing.

This could be taken as a compliment of sorts, as I would not have found it such if there was no potential in it. Indeed the film is original and the storyline itself is quite impressive. There is also a twist at the end that made me raise my eyebrows because there was really some inventiveness behind it. It stars Denzel Washinton, who is awesome (and it is probably him who makes the Christian message sound cool rather than cringe-worthy). Unfortunately, there are also a number of things that drag it down beyond forgiveness:

The most prominent thing that lasts throughout is that the dialogue is largely either cliche or unbelievable. The only times this fault is forgivable is when it is delivered by someone like Denzel, but most of the smaller roles delivered the poorly penned lines with little conviction. Often times the lines are over-dramatic. Over-dramaticness can be incredibly awesome, but it can also be done badly, and unfortunately it was done with little care here.

There were a lot of things that should have been kept out or replaced, as a lot of the scenes sometimes either went too long or didn't really need to be there. It could be that the directors needed to spend a bit more time on some of the scenes, and made them make more sense or have more meaning. The ending went a little too long after the little twist, where it should have ended very quickly, and the last half-minute was quite awfully cliched.

On the upside, the scenery is nice. Not spectacular, but does not disappoint. Being post-apocalyptic it needs awesome scenery and cinematography, and it at least does a reasonable job of both these things. Not overly brilliant, but worth a mention.

There isn't much action in the film, but the little that it does contain is reasonably well-done. Again, not something you'll remember a week after seeing it, but certainly nice looking sequences. There aren't many shots in these parts, so it isn't confusing, and you see the whole thing happening. Although there is a moment where they throw a bomb out the window and it land a little to the side of the car. The next shot you can't see the bomb, but the area that the bomb landed is basically visible. When it ticks over, the car it was next to explodes rather than the bomb. Curious.

Overall, this film would have been substantially better with a few more drafts of the script (and maybe someone else to aid with the dialogue), more care, effort and time from the direction, and maybe a bit better casting. I would not object to the creators making more films, because it is most likely that they will improve with practice. It proves that a Christian perspective is capable of being implanted into a film without being flippin' mindless. Denzel Washington looks cool in sunglasses.

'Kick-Ass' Punches Face! (And Kicks Rear Area)

One thing that is of the utmost importance when you are looking for a quality product is originality and new ideas. This doesn't always mean that the entire premise, style, characters, etc. of a film has to be completely original necessarily...it could simply mean that it has a new twist on something, original characters, previously unreached emotional heights, you get the idea! (Although it is nonetheless preferable that it is original in as many areas as physically possible).

Apart from this, the original idea should be interesting/clever/entertaining/useful. Imagine a new and completely original book on workplace safety! It has completely original ideas, but they range from giving pages upon pages of never-before-seen mathematical figures as to how likely you are to cut your finger, to instructing an office worker never to insert a pencil into their eye. Interesting? No. Useful? No. Clever? Well...smart maybe, with all the maths stuff...but nothing really apart from that. Entertaining? Pretty much irrelevant to workplace safety, but I hope you get what I mean.

Workplace Safety is not the best example, but this theory can be related to just about anything. Imagine how absolutely terrible it would be if one of the recent most popular phenomenons in English literature was a romance novel about...oh, I don't know...a girl who falls in love with...a...vampire! And wouldn't it be crazy if the only original idea she could insert into the story was the fact that vampires sparkled occasionally! Sure you'll get legions of fans, but you could easily become the most hated author in the universe, even being bagged out in (undisclosed) blogs!

"But Man With Beard!" interrupts a previously silent listener. "Shut up!"

Too right, Rude Man, I wandered off topic (slightly). The reason, however, I brought it up was (apart from being an entirely relevant and important fact when it comes to films) Kick-Ass is a film that you will watch and feel that you have never seen before.

It starts off giving background information on the main character, and a bit on some of the side characters also. It sets up the fact that the centre character is someone who is completely and utterly average. There is nothing special about him, apart from the fact that he soon chooses to become a super-hero. We are constantly reminded of the fact that he is a 'real person' by the fact that he is utterly useless at anything to do with being a super-hero - except for his motivation.

For the duration of the film, we are offered a mix of comedy and action. It is, in sorts, the American 'Hot-Fuzz' of the super-hero genre in the way it satirises the genre. The major difference between the two movies (although not a fault to either) is that it is a little more serious. The comedy, although clever, is never in the way of the plot, and vice-versa. The action contained within the film is quite incredible, really. Apart from being well shot, a lot of them (especially those earlier in the film) had great, dramatic music over the top of it to really make the whole experience rather satisfying. They are certainly well shot, choreographed, and generally unpredictable. Also, (somehow perfectly mixed in so that it doesn't distract from the dramaticness or ultimateness of the action), these sequences are quite incredibly funny. Yeah, it's immoral to have an eleven-year-old girl brutally slaughtering people and saying the word c*nt, (and I am a man of strong morals), but flippin' 'eck it's funny!

One thing that impressed me the most is how well it portrayed the fact that the characters were real. Even the super-ninja girl was vulnerable at times! Kick-Ass himself gets beaten up a lot, and you often feel like he could be about to die. This makes for a relatively thrilling experience in that the character development is good enough that you genuinely care for him.

I will point out that it is based on a comic, but Matthew Vaughn and Jane Goldman did an excellent job of putting it onto a film script (although I have never read any of the comics so I have no idea how faithful it is). Matthew Vaughn does an excellent job of his direction, bringing it all together in a style that makes the film a fun experience. It is ultimately a worthwhile experience, and seeing as it was satisfying and entertaining for someone with high standards like me, it'll most certainly be fun and enjoyable for someone unintelligent and boring like yourself. (Not to be taken literally). (Mostly).

The Beginning

I was contemplating how I should start my blog. First, I decided I should begin with some sort of introduction...but then I thought, "No! That's how everyone tends to start their blog!" I then decided that I could do the opposite and begin with an outro...but then I thought, "No! People will believe it and never return to read your blog!" By this time, as you can imagine, I was becoming irritated with the picky responses my thoughts were providing and so came the decision to begin with naught but rambling. This idea was also criticised. In the end I just jotted down the thoughts you just read.

So in short, welcome to my lair. I plan to review films and talk (write) about similar issues. It may be that some of the films I review are ones that are no longer in cinemas. Flip, they may even be a few years old! The main thing is that I provide deep insights into the very core of film making, (I refuse to accept responsibility for a lack of such). Unfortunately, it is unlikely that I will see many films in cinema that I don't like, because I have limited money for reasons that may or may not be related to laziness.

I have also chosen to refrain from use of the word fuck.


It should be noted that I will not accept responsibilty for deaths related to the reading of this blog, in part due to the fact that it is illogical. Any life resulted from reading this blog is unusual.

I would appreciate it, also, if you chose to become a fan of me on facebook. Do not be confused, though, for it uses my real name rather than 'Man With Beard'.

And with this I announce the opening of this blog! I bid you all a good night and a Happy New Year!